Happy birthday, Mathias! (Even though you're not reading this.)
My sleeping patterns are like staccato musical streams: hiccupped, brief, trodden with small black patches. I've woken over a handful of times in the past two weeks before 3 am. Sleep deprivation creates chronic body image issues for me, and it makes working out a chore, which makes eating that much more painful. Early mornings present fortressed solitude, loneliness soaked with anxiety. I just looked at pictures of myself on my facebook account. A picture of me with my friend Megan is haunting me, my bulging stomach lingering in my memory like sea foam on the wet sand. I'm waiting for the dissipation to occur, understanding the bubbles are a direct result of contamination. Decomposition of animals, human waste and garbage, petroleum - all linear correlations to depression and consumption and eating disorders. Pathetic metaphor for bulimia. And this is why I also suffer from picture phobia ...
It's 4:30 and I have 1.5 hours until yoga. Sweet dreams.
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